The Internet Makes Finding New Friends Easy

By Janis Kupferer

Building a Social Circle from Scratch
You know the saying, “You’ve got to have money to make money.” Well, there is a lesser-known, sister saying that states, “You’ve got to have friends to make friends.” And while I don’t necessarily agree with the former (although I certainly think it helps), I absolutely believe the latter, or at least that it

makes the process a lot easier.

Here is the thing, when you already have a circle of friends, it is much easier to meet other new friends because you have a constant supply of fresh faces presented to you, because you can include new acquaintances along with you and your existing friends, and because you are simply out and about doing things which puts you in contact with other people, people you don’t already know and with whom you might actually like to “make friends.”

For example: Jane is a friend of yours with whom you regularly meet-up for a glass of wine. On one particular night, Jane invites Sally along, and it just so happens that Sally also really loves salsa dancing and bingo. And just like that a new friendship is made! Of course, if Sally hadn’t known Jane, well then, how would you have met your new best friend?

Honestly … you probably wouldn’t have.

The truth is that most people meet through other acquaintances. You are introduced when you are out being socially, and strike up a friendship because you share something in common⎯a sense of humor, a love of skiing, or the ability to sing each and every Judy Garland song there ever was.

However, when you are starting from scratch in building a circle of friends, it can be a bit difficult to even get your foot in the door. The reality is that you aren’t out and about simply because you don’t have anyone else with whom to be “out and about.”

All the Lonely People, Where do they all Come From
Two. That’s what the 2004 General Social Survey says is the average number of people that the typical American reports as having a close confidants. And while two was the average number, the study emphasized that the modal respondent said that they had no (zero) confidants⎯that is, the majority (or modal) of respondents said that they have no one, not one person, with whom they discuss significant topics. The report concluded that folks in the U.S. are socially isolated and basically lonely.

Unfortunately, the 2004 Survey’s findings were not unique. In fact, a host of other reports on similar topics agree that Americans as a lot are a fairly lonely bunch, and are so for a bunch of reasons:
  1. We aren’t as involved in our communities as we used to be:
    • We don’t attend church
      We don’t volunteer, and
      We don’t hang out with our neighbors, or even borrow sugar anymore
  2. We move fairly frequently and to places farther away than we did before
  3. We come from, and have smaller families
  4. We divorce more often
  5. We work much longer hours than we used to
  6. We spend a significant amount of time alone in our cars commuting to work

They had the Best of Intentions
What are some of the best ways for a woman to start the process of making new friends and forming a social community in a new town or under new circumstances, such as after a divorce or relationship change?

If you turn to the internet and search phrases such as “advise for meeting people” or “adult friends,” or “new to town,” the results can be mixed. Chances are you’ll either be led to an adult websites or a social networking sites designed for high school and college-aged kids, or you’ll happen on a tons of articles providing identical suggestions on how to make friends in a new town. They always include:
  1. Joining a church or synagogue
  2. Volunteering
  3. Talking to people in the grocery store, coffee shop, or post office
  4. Taking up a new sport
  5. Signing-up for a continuing education course
I think you get the point. While these lists and suggestions are absolutely well intended, rarely do they actually result in the quick access to “New Friend Town.” Don’t misunderstand; these avenues can be very successful over time. But if you are looking for a faster approach, than perhaps we’d better return to the wonderful world of the web. 

The Internet Makes it Easier
Our children are a special breed, they have grown up with constant access to the internet. And they see that the internet can provide information, products, and services to answer every need they could ever think that they might possibly have, today or at any point in the future, in an instant. So it is no wonder that when it comes to fulfilling a need or desire, they simply turn to the internet to help address and fulfill it.

Thus, is it any wonder that they might be the first of us (demographically speaking) to use the internet in new and somewhat more successful ways? Meeting people online is a perfect example of this. When some college kids wanted to know who else was attending their school, they didn’t go the route of the tried and true paper catalogue to check out profiles. Instead they developed an internet-based catalogue and let students post their own profiles. The result is one of the most successful concepts of our time: it is current and dynamic, and a great way to stay in touch with friends whom you already know. 

The Benefits of Meeting Friends Online
Once we saw all the fun that our kids were having online, the adult demographic finally started developing sites for themselves. Because, honestly, meeting people online is smart and convenient, and it overcomes all of the hurdles from which traditional methods suffer while offering some unique benefits:
  1. It removes the element of chance
  2. Yep, you absolutely “could” meet a new friend in line at a coffee shop. But … if you happen to be running late on the particular morning that this new potential great friend is already standing in line … well then, there goes that opportunity. Online, you are both always available, and your ability to meet doesn’t rest on chance.

  3. It removes the necessity on reliance
  4. You can make new friends online without needing to rely on chance encounters, common interests performed at the same place and time, or with the involvement of mutual friends. By using a friendship networking site, such as, you can meet someone whom you otherwise would never have run into, happened upon, or come across at the neighbor’s cocktail party.

  5. It works on your time
  6. The internet is always one. So, regardless of whether you have time during your lunch-break, at midnight, or on a leisurely weekend morning, the internet works on your schedule.

  7. It expands your possibilities
  8. You live in Tucson and love to travel, but your husband doesn’t. You have one friend with whom you love to travel, but she isn’t interested in the safari of which you’ve been dreaming. But Brenda in Bakersfield is, and she is retired and can go anytime. Meeting people online means that your “marketplace” for new travel buddies is unlimited.

Meeting people online is a very smart thing to do, an easy thing to do, and a great way to expand, create or revive your social circle. Everyone is doing it, and everyone is doing it because it works … and works well.

So if you are a woman who is looking to expand your social circle and meet some new platonic friends, was made for you. Think of as that friend who introduces you to other friends.

Joining is easy to do, it only takes a few minutes to create a profile, and you can start connecting with other gals right away. And who knows, if you happen to find a profile of a member that resonates with you, you just might be taking a walk, or sharing a coffee, or making a new friend by this weekend. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Try it now!

Enter your ZIP to see a few of the members waiting to connect with you!

Popular Posts