How to Pick-Up a Girl (Friend)!

By Rori Boyce

Need a few more women friends, but not sure how to meet them. We've got a few pick-up lines that are sure to impress even the most stalwart of male predators, and win some new gal pals in the process.

When we think of pick-up lines, we generally think of the cheesy lines that guys use when attempting to get the attention of a woman ("If I said you had a pretty body .... "). The most common pick-up lines are at best generally giggle-worth, and certainly not something we want someone to use on us or something we would ever consider using on another person, especially someone we wanted for a friend.

At their very core, however, a 'pick-up" line is merely an icebreaker. It is the way we reach out to people we don’t know in order to start a conversation and determine if there is any chemistry (romantic or friendly) that could lead to a connection. When you think about it that way, it makes perfect sense that we would use pick-up lines in pursuit of new friendships even more often than in pursuing romantic relationships. After all, most of us only have one romantic partner at a time but we are better off when we have a handful of friends.

So, if you are looking for ways to reach out and let other women know you might be their next best friend, where do you start? I thought it would be fun to try some of the more traditional pick-up lines on for size and see if I could come up with some winning ways to use them to make new friends.
Is this Seat Taken?
Asking if you can share space is probably the most generic of openings, and the easiest way for women to strike up small talk. Whether in a crowded Starbucks or at the parents table at dance class, asking to share a table with another woman is an easy way to open the door to a more in-depth conversation. Since the whole point is to get to know someone better in order to determine if you are friendship compatible, creating the opportunity for conversation is key and making this simple request gives you an opening that won’t make you seem strange or awkward.

Assuming that the answer is yes (and if it’s not you already have your answer anyway), you will need to use body language and non-verbal cues to determine if the other gal is receptive to more than just temporarily sharing space.

Do You Come Here Often?
Regular interaction is a necessary element to maintaining a friendship; you need to see, visit, and communication with a friend consistently to keep the friendship in tact. Asking a gal who seems a good friendship match if she is a regular at a coffee shop or yoga class is a terrific way to begin a conversation. It invites her  offer advice, an opinion, or to ask for yours, tells you if you'll have the opportunity to run into her again, and allows you both to experience the event together (another necessary element of friendship.

Again, this tactic creates space for conversation but by adding the element of shared experience, it increases the chances of making a connection and the likelihood of making a new friend.

Don’t You Find this Place ... ?
This is another way to open up by sharing a little bit of yourself, namely your opinion of whatever location or activity you are both sharing. You can take this one either positive or negative and if you are trying to connect with someone on a real level, you are better off basing that direction on your actual opinion rather than trying to get a read on how they feel about it. Remember that real friendships are based on sincerity, trust, and mutual respect, so starting off my saying you love this class when you are actually miserable isn’t likely to lead you anywhere even if it is what the other person wants to hear.

Your  _____ is Beautiful!
Nothing gets a woman's attention better than a sincere compliment, one about her lovely scarf, haircut or even her toned legs. We agree, this one can come off really well or (honestly) a little creepy and which reaction you get has as much to do with the woman you are talking to as it does to what you actually say.

When you tell a woman that you like her clothing, you are telling her two things: one that you appreciate her good taste, and that you two share a common sense of style. Most women would be hard pressed not to respond positively when you reach out like this, and they may even share their sources for great highlights or expert alterations.

The bottom-line with pick-up lines is to remember that your goal is to create the opportunity for conversation so that you can determine if there is the potential for a connection. As long as you keep that in mind, you should have no trouble finding the right words when you find someone new.

Be sincere, be perceptive to body-language, and be friendly without being overly personal, and you'll score new friendships where ever you go.

1 comment:

  1. Follow up your sincere compliment with a question (Where's you get it? How'd you do it? ) and you've just doubled your chances at some meaningful interaction.


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